In this newly whitened world on a frigid Spring Equinox, in a year of confinement, caution, creativity and care, what can be said to heighten the spirit of the day? We go on and on adjusting and re-aligning ourselves and still there is no great new reality emerging from the challenges.
I am a juggler of mood and ability as I walk the plank of aging. Who is that in the mirror? She sags and looks bewildered. Why must the young encounter this worldly mess? Where is the ease? Who can enliven our outlook? When will the dangers end?
It seems my inner life has taken to the cloud. Social interaction is constrained and masked with the eyes speaking loud and clear. Armshots are the gold, real estate the prize to fight for. How do we carry on with a sense of renewal when there are others unhinged from lack of any security or comradery. My children are Chinese and Latina. I am an immigrant from another land. 'Unity awareness' has a nice ring to the sound image but it is fragmented into units of We/Them.
Did my father sink in realization of his need to go to war? Were the mothers of our childhood disappointed with the lacks of life? What happens when you reach the conclusion that Mankind is not kind and manliness contributes to a weakened strain of power-controlled ineptitude.
I think sitting in the home typing is a placebo for the wishes we have that are not coming out as we would choose. Go out, find beauty, forget the things that have gone down the drain of history. I say to myself.. there is a light here somewhere. It is tiny and shines in the heart of those I love. It emerges in unexpected places, in masked faces, on earthly spaces. Our determination to BE is fueling the push of daily experience. Now what?
